2014

I spoke with our agency last week and there is really no good news to report.  China has created a new computer system to replace much of their paper process.  Unfortunately, as with most computer upgrades, there were some issues.  As a result they did not process any matches for a record 77 days. 

[Historical note:  At one point (long, long ago in what seems like a fantasy world) they used to match almost day for day.  As Jeff and I waited for Isabel that process slowed to only a few days per month.  They pace has remained as such for over the past five years.  So that should put into perspective just how long a 77 day period without any matches would be.  I cannot imagine being one of the families who knew they were next but had to endure weeks of waiting.]

Since there was no movement for traditional matches for two-and-a-half months, there was not much movement for the files of our waiting child kiddos either.  Thus, when I called our agency it truly was a repeat of the conversation we had in June, just moved forward a couple months.  There are still enough people in front of us that we will not receive a match in August, September doesn't seem promising either, October...who knows?   The bottom line of all of this?  We will not be traveling to China in 2013.  Granted, we could still receive our match before the end of the year...but seeing as we do not see any chance of us getting a match in August, we are officially pushed out to January/February as the soonest we would expect to travel....2014  ugh

The wait is rough and it is hard to explain this process to sometimes.

I was recently forwarded a link from a dear friend who is also an adoptive parent.  She knew that I would be able to relate to what this blogger had posted regarding the wait and what it is like.  This writer gives such a great explanation of this crazy roller coaster and puts many thoughts and feelings into words in a way which I could never do.  So, please take a few minutes to read her post:  "dear friends of waiting adoptive moms: some things to know (also, we’re sorry)"

Here is an excerpt:

1. Your friend is not crazy. (She is adopting.)
   There is, I will admit, a fine line between those two but still it’s good to remember. The international adoption of a child requires enough paperwork to kill a small forest. And more governmental red tape than you can believe. Imagine your longest, most frustrating trip to the DMV. Now quadruple that, add in twelve more governmental agencies in two countries, and remember it’s not a driver’s license you’re waiting for but the final piece of paper that says this family you’re creating can finally, finally be together. Yeah. Not crazy. But close.
 
2. She loves a child she’s never met.
   It’s possible. So possible. It’s irrational and crazy but it’s reality. Does she love them like she will once she gets to know them? No. But she loves them. She wakes up loving them and goes to sleep loving them. She drives to the grocery story and aches to have them safe and snug in the car seat waiting for them. She pushes her cart around the store and hears a child cry and her heart pounds wondering if her child is crying? Alone? Hungry? She might even have to leave an entire grocery cart full of food in the yogurt aisle to go home and cry because it just is too hard. Way too hard.
    
3. It’s difficult having your heart on the other side of the world.
   To people on the outside they don’t look like our kids, on paper they might not be our kids yet. But in our hearts we love these children like they are and yet we’re not together. We’re moms without children. It’s an ache that doesn’t go away. It starts before we see their faces and only ends when they’re in our arms. So we walk about with half our heart missing. It’s hard to breathe, to think, to speak. Something always feels missing. Because they are.
   
   ...read her entire post here.

 

At the end of the day there are pros and cons to traveling in 2014.  Besides the obvious longer wait to bring our daughter home, it also effects a string of other items...mainly the fact that our paperwork will expire in March.  (I am currently in denial about the fact that we may need to go through all that again.)  However, there are some positives as well...we won't be traveling over Christmas which had been a very large fear of mine as it would have been so hard to be away from Isabel then.  Oh, and we have more time to save money...which means more time to spend said saved money on the nursery!

 

So, here's to exciting news in 2013 and exciting travels in 2014.